The Pursuit

I want to share a spiritual experience that was pivatol to my faith. I have to warn you this is going to get weird. I don’t think God cares about keeping things in the realm of what we understand. He isn’t contained to our  labels or boxes or ideas. He isn’t one dimensional. God is bigger than we can ever imagine operating in the realm of impossibilities and creative miracles. He is a very real presence that has the power to change our lives from the inside out and outside in.  He  pursues us. 

It all started with a road trip. The end goal was Seattle. My boyfriend(at the time) and I jumped into the camper van from Colorado to Wyoming to California to Oregon, and finally Washington. It was an incredible trip. We stayed in Yellowstone, we camped on beaches in California, drove up the coast, hiked mount Shasta with the hippies, seal watched in Oregon and treked through the Redwoods. All of this was incredible but nothing compared to what God did in Washington.

It was a Sunday and my cousin invited us to spend the day with him. This meant to go to church. For the first time in years I actually looked forward to it. After years of being forced to go to church and growing up seeing all the things that could go wrong in religious organizations I had major reservations. God was opening my heart to him and drawing me near by his love.

My boyfriend and I  were then taken an evening service by my cousin to his friends church. It was called The Pursuit. That’s when it got real. Real weird that is. During worship people were going wild singing their hearts out praying in tongues and really going for it. I never had been to a church like this. I was pulled outside by my cousin where a young guy in his twenties met us. We talked about my reservations and complaints against the church. How it hurt my faith and how I couldn’t possibly see the good in organized religion. The man I didn’t recognize urged me to forgive and that so much good can come out of the church. He told me about his past. He said he was abused by his uncle but Jesus helped him forgive. He said I too must forgive those who have hurt me in the past. Then he asked if he could pray for me. I was so touched. I had been going to church my whole life. No one there ever prayed for me until then. I felt really loved and he thanked me for letting him pray for me. This was a new kind of christian I hadn’t seen before. I was seeing Jesus.

John 13:35 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” 

We went back to the church and as the preacher spoke my heart pounded inside me. His words and passion evoked something in my spirit. I couldn’t understand. Then at the end he asked people to come up for prayer. I didn’t know what to expect but I went to the front. I stood there and watched people get prayer. I closed my eyes. I felt a hand on my upper back and heard a girls voice praying in a language I couldn’t understand. A few words I knew. “Satan she doesn’t belong to you, let her go.” Then continued in the mysterious tongue. Then music began to wash over my body. I was reminded of my childhood and I felt I was that little girl again. He sang Psalm 42”As the deer pants for water so my soul longs for you oh lord.” All that was heavy began to leave my body and light and love encompassed all of my existence. I wept out all of my demons. All evil thoughts evaded me. I began to fall over and didn’t know it until I felt her hand push me back up. I opened my eyes so I wouldn’t fall. I was overcome. I was made new by the Holy Spirit.

John 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

I soaked in his presence until the music ended and then sat down in awe at what just happened. After service ended a man in the band came up to me. He said he had a message for me. He wanted me to keep my hopes up. He told me that he had the impression that I had the gift of teaching and he spoke out the good qualities he saw in me. He encouraged and gave me advice to get involved in church and to seek God. He assured me my value and purpose in God’s plan. I felt the love of a Father in his words.

John 16:27 For the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.

That night I was a woken up by an extremely bright light. I opened my eyes and it was dark. Confused I opened and closed my eyes a few times but it was only bright when my eyes were closed. I felt God speak to my heart. “This light is inside of you and it is never going to leave. “ In it I felt safe and peace. Whatever went on outside I knew I could find this peace and safety inside. Then I saw Jesus. His face was mangled. He wore the crown of thorns and he hung his head in shame. He was so beat up he barely looked human. I was shocked and thought no I am not worthy. He then turned his face towards me. His eyes burned with love and compassion for me and they said I am never leaving you. He didn’t have to speak a word. I had a hard time sleeping for through out the night I had visions of a lion roaring continually.

The next morning my boyfriend woke up and said ”The weirdest thing happened to me last night…I met Jesus.” He explained how he came to him in his sleep. I knew what I experienced was real but this was just a confirmation. Somehow God gave me power to overcome my sin. I felt no urge to smoke(was addicted for 7 years) was finding myself viewing a whole lot I thought acceptable as no longer so. He really changed me. If he changed me he can change anyone. If he came to meet me he could meet anyone.

God knows each of us better than we know ourselves. Psalm 139 says “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” He knows how to reach us and how to communicate with us. I guess he knew I needed to experience his presence and so he gave me a gift by revealing himself to me and changing me in a very real way. I bet if you ask he would meet you too.  Don’t expect to experience what I did or even what you think possible. God is full of surprises. He is the great author of life and writes the best stories.

“And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”  Luke 11:9

Thank you for reading! Pease Comment and share your own thoughts and experiences. Much love! ❤

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